The Fruit of The Spirit - Gentleness

The Fruit of The Spirit - Gentleness

Galatians 5:22-23

 

INTRO:

Good morning.   Today we will have another lesson on the fruit of the spirit.   This time I want to look at Gentleness.

 

I want to encourage you to take out your Bibles and look at the scriptures I mention. If you have any questions about anything I say, I’ll be glad to talk to you about it. If I’m wrong, I will stand corrected.

 

We're going to again begin with Galatians 5:22-23 – “22. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23. gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”  

Gentleness is one of those words that defines itself. It is learning to be gentle in your dealings with people.

 

From what we have studied if you understand the works of the flesh and what love is then you recognize that the works of the flesh are the opposite of the fruit of the spirit.

 

One of the works of the flesh is outbursts of wrath.  When you're dealing with love you learn that love is not rude, Love is not arrogant.  Whenever you think of rudeness, arrogance, and outbursts of wrath - gentleness is the opposite.  This is dealing with how we treat people.

 

In thinking on the fruit of the Spirit, notice that gentleness, is very closely related to some of the other fruits mentioned, kindness, long suffering, and goodness.

Whenever we are showing kindness to people, we will find that part of that kindness is expressed in gentleness.

 

Whenever we show long suffering with people, not giving up on people in their frailties, in their problems, and shortcomings, in our dealings with them - we're going to be gentle.

 

1. The Actions of Gentleness - I would like to start this study on the subject of gentleness by going to James 3:13 – “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.”  In this text we are talking about a manifestation of being a real Christian.   Indeed, that is what the fruit the spirit is all about isn’t it?
   1. We're dealing with manifestations of what really walking in the faith, of what really living by faith, allowing the word of God to mold and to shape our heart - produces in our life.
      1. If we are a sincere Christian, it will show by the conduct of our life and that conduct is carried out in the meekness of wisdom.
      2. When we talk about meekness some people have a misunderstanding about what we mean.   They have the idea that meekness is kind of weak, easy, a pushover, someone kind of cowardly, who won’t stand up for themselves.   That's not meekness at all.
      3. I hope we will see in the lesson this morning that gentleness and meekness is strength, but I want you to notice James talks about the meekness of wisdom.
   2. You find the same context in verses 16-18. James goes further and says; “16. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing will be there. 17. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”
      1. We see again this is talking about allowing the Word of God to mold and shape our hearts, our lives to where we are like a lump of clay.   We allow God to mold us, to shape us, to where it's no longer we who live, but Christ and God living and shining through us.
      2. This is done with the wisdom, the word comes from above.   James says it is pure, peaceable, and gentle.   And he says it’s willing to yield.
   3. What is he talking about, willing to yield?   Let’s look at Matthew 5:39-42 – “But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40. "If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41. "And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42. "Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.”
      1. Let me ask this are we turning the other cheek because we are cowards?   Are we turning the other cheek just because we're afraid and we're weak? That's not it at all. You're turning the other cheek because you can maintain control of yourself when someone else has absolutely lost it.  That is what meekness is.   It is actually a position of strength.
      2. It is the ability to maintain control of yourself despite of your environment, in spite of what other people are saying, or thinking, or doing to you.   Even if someone slaps you, you’re willing to yield. You desire peace and desire it so much you're willing to turn the other cheek.
      3. Of course, they hit you and it hurt, you did not like it, no one would.   You may be fighting to maintain control because, and we realize this, what’s the easiest thing to do if someone slaps you? You slap them back so hard they never think about slapping you again.  Isn't that the easiest thing to do?   If someone hurts you, you hurt them so badly they don't ever think about doing it again.   Well that is the way the world does things.   We see that on TV and in the movies all the time.   But that's not the way of Christianity.
      4. That's not the way of our Lord.   If we are Christians, our lives are lived trying to conform to the image of Christ, who is gentle, meek, lowly, humble and kind in His dealings with us.   Learn to turn the other cheek.   Learn to maintain control of yourself when others are lashing out at you.  Folks, that is true strength.
   4. Along those lines I must mention that while what you say is important, how you say it can be just as important, if not more important.
      1. Whenever you are communicating with people, they hear your attitude first in the tone of voice that you are using.  Look at this from 2^nd Timothy 2:24-25 – “24. … a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, 25. in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth,”  Paul is talking about the servants of the Lord, Christians, that’s us.  We must not quarrel.
      2. It has been said that meaningful communication breaks down when you raise your voice.  Have you ever been in an argument with someone and they raise their voice to the point they're yelling at you?   Again, what's the easiest thing to do?  The response is usually to yell back, isn’t it? You vent your frustration in return.
      3. Is meaningful communication really taking place in all this venting?   Do you suppose they are really listening to what you're saying?   How many of us listen when someone is yelling at us?   You know what happens, up go our defenses.   It doesn't matter what the person is saying, perhaps it is the truth. We're not going to respond because of the way we were spoken to.  
      4. In military boot camp you are trained to actually listen to the instructions that are being yelled at you, keep your mouth shut, drop your defensive attitude and listen.   It is not a natural thing and you have to be trained.   What would your reaction be if someone screamed at you “I love you”?   Even though the message was “I love you” how would you take it?
      5. What people hear first is how you are speaking to them, because it tells them what your attitude is and that is why Christians should not get caught up in quarreling.
   5. How important is this?   For example let’s say someone is caught up in the snare of the devil in the way they are going. If they continue down that path, it is going to lead them to eternal damnation and you know the truth.   We're talking about someone's eternal destiny.
      1. We're talking about what is really important.  We're not talking about say… politics.
      2. I mean we can disagree about politics but, folks, we're talking about someone going to heaven or hell.  You can't get more serious than that.
      3. Here you are in a position where you know you can help them to get untangled and get to where they need to be.   What do you do?   Do we understand the importance of meaningful communication in this situation and maintaining control even though we are discussing something which is extremely sensitive?  
      4. When we are talking with someone about religion, it can be a very sensitive subject.   Especially if we need to tell this person who may perceive themselves as being a Christian, “I'm not really sure you're right with God.   As a matter of fact, from my studying of the scriptures I don't believe you are.”
      5. It is not an easy conversation and it is an potentially explosive one!   The person you are talking to may react very badly, especially if they are a younger Christian.   Though a mature Christian may react badly too. Even if they lose control and they start yelling at you, maintain you composure.   “a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all”
      6. Instruct in humility, in meekness.   Speak the truth in love. The whole truth.
   6. Speak to people not by speaking down to them, not with arrogance, not with a holier than thou attitude, not with the attitude of trying to prove I'm right and you’re wrong, checkmate, got ya.  
      1. People can understand why you're saying what you say.   They can read us really quickly if we’re just trying to prove we're right and they're wrong.
      2. They can also tell when we really care about them and we're just trying to help them find their way to heaven. Speak to people with dignity, respect, courtesy, humility, meekness, and gentleness - but don't water down the truth.
   7. Continuing in 2^nd Corinthians 10:1 – “Now I, Paul, myself am pleading with you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ who in presence am lowly among you, but being absent am bold toward you.” We're seeing how Paul was preaching and the way in which he was preaching.  What he was writing about was so important that he says he is pleading, but the way in which he did it was with meekness and gentleness.  I want you to notice it's the gentleness of Christ.   Paul is trying to emulate Christ and folks, that is what we are all about, isn’t it?
      1. We are trying to conform ourselves to the image of Christ to be like God to where it's no longer we who live but Christ living and shining through us.
      2. We are to take the wisdom that is from above, given to us in the Word of God and allow it to mold our will and our lives.  One of the manifestations of this is we're going to be more willing to be gentle and meek in our dealings with people.   The way in which we speak to them is not going to be abusive, sharp, angry, or rude.
      3. The fruit of the spirit will be that we will have the ability to maintain control and be gentle in our dealings with them.
   8. I want to talk about The Strength of Gentleness.   From Proverbs 16:32 – “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” When we think about someone who is mighty and has the power to take a city, we think strength.   They have the power to go with their military might and take the city, that’s strength, right?  
      1. The truth of the matter is if you're slow to anger, you're stronger than the man who was able to take the city.   If we rule our spirit and we do not allow the evil that is done to us to overcome us and turn us into the image of the oppressor, acting like them, speaking like them and responding to them in the way in which they treated us - that's strength, that's real strength.
      2. From Proverbs 14:29 – “He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly.”
         1. How many times do we come in contact with situations and people that set us off?    They get our blood pressure rising then we start screaming and yelling and hollering at them.
         2. What if someone slaps us even if we haven't done anything wrong? What's our first thought?   Hey, I didn't deserve that!  I haven’t done anything wrong!   I have the right to strike back, the Bible says so, right?   No. Willing to yield, is being able to turn the other cheek even when you aren't doing anything wrong.   Doing good to those who have done evil to you.   Loving your enemy. That’s strength.
      3. 2^nd Corinthians 10:7-10 – “7. Do you look at things according to the outward appearance? If anyone is convinced in himself that he is Christ's, let him again consider this in himself, that just as he is Christ's, even so we are Christ's. 8. For even if I should boast somewhat more about our authority, which the Lord gave us for edification and not for your destruction, I shall not be ashamed   9. lest I seem to terrify you by letters. 10. "For his letters,'' they say, "are weighty and powerful, but his bodily presence is weak, and his speech contemptible.''”
         1. If we were to think about people of spiritual strength, I suspect many of us would put the apostle Paul in the top five.   Jesus obviously is number one.   Other than Jesus, when I think of spiritual strength, I think Paul.
         2. In the time of Paul there were some of the brethren that when they looked at him all they saw was his outward appearance.   They said his bodily presence is weak.  He's not a stout, big guy.  He's not like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
         3. They said his speech is contemptible.  He's not a great orator; he doesn't have a silver tongue.
         4. Often the way we determine a person’s strength is by their appearance.   Whether they are a good speaker, how strong they are physically, how big they are, the strength of their personality.
         5. We miss the point.   We miss seeing a person’s real strength because a person’s real strength is in their heart.   It is the strength of their character, an inward strength and that is what gentleness is all about.
      4. Jesus was an example of this. Mark 15:3-5 – “3. And the chief priests accused Him of many things, but He answered nothing. 4. Then Pilate asked Him again, saying, "Do You answer nothing? See how many things they testify against You!'' 5. But Jesus still answered nothing, so that Pilate marveled.” In the text Jesus was before Pontius Pilate. Luke 23:10 says; “the chief priests and scribes stood and vehemently accused Him.” They hate Jesus and they accused Him of many things.  
         1. They see an opportunity to kill him and they are probably screaming and hollering in their accusations against him.   Here is Jesus, not saying a word, totally quiet.
         2. Matthew 27:12-13 – “12. And while He was being accused by the chief priests and elders, He answered nothing. 13. Then Pilate said to Him, "Do You not hear how many things they testify against You?''” Then in verse 14 is says; “And He answered him not one word, so that the governor marveled greatly.”
         3. Why did Pilate marvel greatly?   I don't think he was standing back saying “Why aren't you defending yourself?”   No. I think Pilate knew exactly what he was seeing. Scripture tells us Pilate knew of the enmity of the religious leaders toward Jesus. “For he knew that because of envy they had delivered Him.”
         4. He was seeing someone who had so much strength of character that when others around him were attacking him with all kinds of accusations He just stood there and said nothing.   Pilate understood the strength of the character of the person in front of him.
         5. That is what meekness is.   The ability to maintain control when others around you have completely lost it.  It is a strength of character to be able to turn the other cheek, to love your enemy, to do good to those that do evil to you.
         6. That is strength, not the outward appearance of strutting and showing your physical strength or screaming and hollering or using pleasing speech.
      5. I've seen in my life some of the most humble, kind, simple, people you would ever meet.   I have also seen people that I thought were really strong, yet whenever the pressure came, they completely fell to pieces.   Then there were those others, the humble ones that you would never imagine to be strong and when the pressure came, they had a smile on their face.  They were at peace and they were still in control.
         1. Often the people in the world totally misread gentleness, they misread meekness and they think; well this person is just weak.   That’s were long suffering comes in.
         2. Let me propose this. Let's look at Matthew 7:14 where He says; few there be that find it when he's talking about us going to heaven.  The straight and the narrow way, the difficulties in the narrow way, and few will find it.
         3. Wait a minute God; you want people to be saved why don't you make it where everybody’s saved then?  Certainly, God could make us obey the gospel or make us so we can't sin.  But that is not what He does. God does not want us to not have a choice, He wants us to be drawn to Him and chose Him.
         4. How is it that God draws us to Him?   God draws us to Him through love.  The greatest manifestation of that love is He gave His son to die for us.
            1. He tells us over and over and over and over again; I love you.
            2. I want you to bear with Me.

• I want you forgiven.

1. I want you to be with Me in heaven forever.

5. He wants all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth, but all men aren’t going be saved.  Those who come to God are going to come to God because God is gentle with us.
   1. He's kind.
   2. He's loving and He’s long suffering.
6. All these things are intertwined. When you are long suffering with people, you're not going to give up on people even though they're going in the wrong direction.
   1. You will encourage and encourage and encourage and try to encourage them with gentleness and kindness, but you're not going to encourage anyone by yelling at them.
   2. You know you can not ever encourage anyone by getting in their face and screaming at them.   That will not draw anybody to God.
   3. If we're going to draw people to God, we've got to let the love of God shine through us.

• Let's talk about the fruit of gentleness – In Proverbs 25:15 – “By long forbearance a ruler is persuaded, and a gentle tongue breaks a bone.” Here we're dealing with a ruler, a very important person and a bone which is a very rigid part of your body.   What is expressed here is that with long forbearance, long suffering, not giving up continuing to stick with it, you can finally get a ruler to agree, to be persuaded.   Although a bone is very rigid thing a gentle tongue can break that rigidity.
  1. The point of this proverb is the power and strength of patient long suffering, gentleness, sticking with it, and continuing to encourage people.
     1. When we say encourage, we do not mean control, do we?   Is there anybody here this morning that can control anybody else in the world other than them selves? I can only control myself.
     2. There are people in the world that I see going in the wrong direction and all I can ever do with people like that is show them the right way to go and encourage them to go that way.
     3. Yes, it can be frustrating in how long it takes to get some people to see were they are going off the track. In frustration we may think maybe what I need to do is get a little louder, get their attention so they will listen.  No.
     4. It may take longer to get people to respond to gentleness, but when they finally figure it out, when they finally figure out that you are treating them with kindness and respect and you're not going to give up on them, they are drawn for good and they will stick. They will be drawn by the love of God not just by trying to please you, get you off their back or please the culture around them. They’ll be drawn by the love of God.
  2. Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Again, you maintain control. You speak back with gentleness, respect and control and they start to realize they're not pushing your buttons!   Don't let them push your buttons and they will quit trying when they realize they're not going to get a response.
     1. Even when someone has worked up themselves into a frenzy, you put out the fire with self-control and gentleness and kindness and help them rein themselves in.
     2. Then you can get back to meaningful communication to where you may be able to get somewhere with them.
  3. 2^nd Timothy 2:26 – “and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.” If you read up a few verses you will see he is teaching Timothy that a servant of the Lord is not supposed to be quarrelsome and striving, but to be gentle to all men, to teach and be patient.   Why? So that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil having been taken captive by him to do his will.
     1. Here is seeing a fruit that comes from our ability to maintain self control and speak to people about the very important subject of their soul, their eternal destiny, - speaking to them with meekness and gentleness. Telling them the truth in love.
     2. When their minds are free of the turmoil of conflict they can begin to listen, to start opening their heart to the love of God for them and Christ crucified.   What draws people to God is His love for them.   People are not going to learn about God's love if you're yelling at them.   They're not going to be able to sense God's love for them and hear the word of God when it's all a quarrel, a big fight.
  4. Two other examples. First Peter 3:1-4 – Verse 1 says; “wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,” Continuing in the text it talks about “let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God.”
     1. This is about a man who is an unbeliever married to a Christian woman. This Christian woman should have a gentle and a quiet spirit.   The man is observing her chaste conduct, and because of this he finds himself drawn to God by the conduct of his wife.
     2. In the conduct of his wife he is seeing God. The text says what the woman is putting on, is incorruptible beauty with a gentle and quiet spirit.
     3. God says this in his word.   When God says; this is beautiful, it's beautiful—that gentle woman with a quiet spirit.    When one sees a woman like this and they see her kindness and her generosity and her patience, when she speaks to them…   She has control. What she's telling them is the truth and they are apt to listen.

 

CONCLUSION:

We'll close with 2^nd Corinthians 10:4-5 – “4. … the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5. casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,”

We're talking about the weapons of our warfare pulling down strongholds, but they are not carnal.   What then is a stronghold?   Verse 5 explains.   A stronghold is someone’s spiritual weaknesses in the major areas of their life.  

How is God going to tear down strongholds in our lives to get us to repent and turn from these things we're involved in and put on the new man?  What is it that's going to get us to change our lives?

 

It's going to be the love of God for us and our love for God in return. We said before Love is the strongest level of faith.   Now abideth faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love.   Motivated by faith, hope, and love you can tear down strongholds in your lives.

 

Sooner or later we will meet someone who has strongholds built around their heart. We may think there's no way I can get through to that person.   They are so far from God, they are so stubborn, so self-willed, there is no way Christ crucified will ever be able to influence them and draw them to God.   The weapons God has given us are mighty; they are strong to the point of being able to tear down the strongholds in their lives.

 

In verse 5 of the text he says; casting down arguments in every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.  That's an awesome text.

When we work with someone and encourage them, we do it with respect, meekness, gentleness and the truth of the Word of God.   If they do not respond to it, and we have another opportunity later we come back again, and we encourage them with gentleness, meekness, and kindness and the truth of the Word of God - spoken in love.

 

If they do not respond we are to be patient, longsuffering and at the next opportunity we come back again.   It takes patience with some people, so we speak to them again the same word of God the same truth in gentleness, kindness, respect and love.  Eventually, if this individual will be drawn to God, it will be because we didn’t give up on them.

 

We can tear down strongholds but it's not going to be through strength of body, it's not going to be through yelling and hollering at people it's going to be by patiently, respectfully telling them the truth in love.   Sometimes people misunderstand that.  Sometimes they misread it for weakness, and it takes longer.

 

We do not put shock collars on people and tell them they will get a jolt if they don’t show up to worship. Unfortunately, in history there have been religious groups that have done the equivalent of that.   Even today there is some of that.   That's not the way the Lord wants it.   If you're going to come to worship, it will be because you have the desire to come here.

 

If you will serve God, it will be because you have a desire to serve God. It's your faith that you're going to walk by, your hope you're going to live by, your love that you’re going to want to express.   Nobody else can do it for you.

 

God is long suffering with us. He is gentle with us. He is kind with us. What He wants us, His servants, to learn is to treat our fellow human beings with that same gentleness and kindness and long suffering and love.

 

There may be somebody here this morning who is not a member of the body of Christ.

If you believe in your heart that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God we would like to encourage you to openly confess that faith.

We would like to encourage you to take up your cross and start following by faith, living by faith, repenting of your sins, putting off the old man and putting on the new man.

If you're willing to confess your faith and follow the Lord as your king, we will be glad to assist you and baptize you into the body of Christ.   You need to choose to do it.

 

If there's a prodigal son or daughter here this morning who left the Lord because your faith and your hope and your love was weak, I hope your faith and your hope and your love are stronger to the point you want to come home.

We'll pray for you.  We'll pray with you. We'll do the very best we can to encourage you and strengthen you.

If you are a subject of the Gospel call in any way let us know while we stand a sing the song that has been selected.

 

 

Invitation song: 78 “Hark the Gentle Voice”

Reference sermon by: Wayne Fancher